She waited for 2 days

1st May 1984, she was delivered to this world.

I wasn't around for her...yet.

and she waited for me...

3rd May 1984, we both breathed under the same sky thereafter.

We started sharing our days, months...years.

but I still missed that 2 days...

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Here then I offer her my two lives.

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Revival or Struggle?

It has been some time for me not updating this blog. Remember my first entry - "Opening"?

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if ever you have read it...or you may wanna take a read if you have not. Quite obvious my ambitious thought has faded away; I rather see it being silly now. Or may be to the extreme, a hypokrit I am. Well, it might looks even sillier that I'm now calling myself a hypokrit. But I wonder... whether there's someone reading this entry?

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Highly unlikely......

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So who really cares if I myself don't. Well, if there's nobody but only me reading this, why do I bother asking people (if any) to read my first entry in the first place? Self-Contradicting indeed.

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Haaa....I've just "defamed" myself again.

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Assume that someone has been reading my blog since all this while, he or she may think that I'm asking too much of questions. A meloncholic child. emmmm....Whether you agree or not? but as least I have put up my hand, knoded my head.....AGAIN!!! I must have hated myself.

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Don't worry, I've just just screamed out the negative energy within me. Hope I'll feel much better later on...well, I hope. I don't really get to shout or scream whenever or where ever I like, not to mention to any person I felt doing so. My life is very much tied up with rules. I'm kind a traditionalist. Sometimes I do do things which is out of my own free will to please everybody, but not my parents.....and my siblings...which is quite sad to say that (well it should be"quite sad to write that".

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Well, not to say (write) any further. This entry seems more like my primary school "describe yourself" essay, guess you'll know what kind of person I'm now.

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Hmmmmm.........Why I still sound like as if there's anyone reading this? Just shut up.

Cold War

(14323 words)
It's just scarry...you would not have agreed further if you were to have experienced this before.

Drunk

Middle of the night, hours more to dawn, surprisingly, I was still awake, only bottles of beers kept me in companion…and still, I was being able to post this entry.

I was drunk…at least I believe I was.

True enough, where an alcoholic will never ever, or maybe conditionally, self-proclaim as being drunk after a dozen of cans.

But I believe I was really drunk in this blue moon.

Drunk enough to be deceived, or rather betrayed, by my own sight - seeing my own reflection in the mirror - where the attractive face of mine, the arrogant look I used to keep and the very narcissist me, all seemed to have gone down to the drain. All were blurred to the contorted facial which disgusts me – this happened since I was left in the state of drunkenness.

The ability of good time management has long ago retarded. I seemed to have a difficulty meeting up my task, to finish up my work on time, and to eat according to my meal hours (well, this I would normally fail, discard this), finally in commencing on my assignments of my law studies.

Sigh…not so great right? It’s a bit messy right now, pretty much off from my master plan.

The passer by(s) perceived me in different ways from one to another. Some might be green in envy whilst some might have despised me. Some were friendly, some were aggressive. And previously, I don’t really give a damn to them, simply because I enjoyed being drunk. I enjoyed seeing stars which were not so promising. I enjoyed singing to the deep drain which echoed to respond to my talent.

Why? ... because I was drunk …. simple as that.

But…human being human…with limited truism. I couldn’t survive any longer when the last say or critic arose which seemed to leave a weight on me. I finally erupted, who then behaved in rebellious manner, who then subsequently being punished for misbehaving. And lastly I was locked in a very cold cell where you won't get any response from the desired.

*Sigh*

I was a little bit upset tonight. Very much depress indeed. Pressure that creep from the tease and critic. Encroached my temper till I whiter further to little. The pretty face abandoned me whilst the beautiful mind ignored me and life wouldn’t have gotten any worse than that. I looked down to myself.

We had a quarrel. The relationship has been temporarily frozen. All was due to the minute I tried to be conscious and coincidently lost my temper in doing so.That's the reason why I was left all alone at the midnight. I took the last sip of the beer left in the bottle. It’s not doing any good on me- literary, to intoxicate me more than ever I was intoxicated in the relationship.

By the way... for your knowledge, I’m never an alcoholic but rather "Te-queirosholic" or whatever you could have thought of.

I was only drunk in a relationship.

Question 5

Q: What do you want if you have just won the jackpot?

Ahaha...i guess i'll share with those who read my blog.

(haha...what a typical attention seeker I am...a lil too desparate)

How bout u?

Blown by the Wind

Smashingly...she reaches me
Kissing my cheeks, de-moisturising my lips, & I
Just couldn't help telling her more, how much I adore

Quietly...she then leaves me
The mirth and tease , moments that I ever miss, & I
Just couldn't have agreed more, I can never hold the wind of fall

Runing Out of Heartbeats

Messy feelings conquered me.

I then lost my head.